I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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