I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
