I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
