hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
