found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
