6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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