If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
