No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
