I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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