they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
