Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
