this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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