I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
