Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
