thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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