I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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