How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
