I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
