He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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