how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
