Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
