you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
