Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
