i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
