Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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