yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
As shirtless as possible
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
