its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
