I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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