The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
