So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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