dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I lost the right to judge tonight
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
as a side note pls kill me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
