What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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