Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
