The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
