it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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