if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
