I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
