I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
