Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
