Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
