Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
3pm strippers are depressing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
