It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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