don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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