we're blogging at a bar
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
