Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i dont even know how to be here
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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