Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
