I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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