none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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