I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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