The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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