please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
