Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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