does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
