And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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