I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
They took my balls.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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